Runner Self Talk – You Know You Do It

This is a story about a runner. A runner and his garmin. A runner, his garmin and his heart. A runner, his garmin, his heart and his brain. A runner, his garmin, his heart, his brain and his hamstrings. A runner, his garmin, his heart, his brain, his hamstrings and his quads.

We join the story to find the runner at mile 17 of an eventual 19 mile training run.

Garmin, frantically, “Tweedle deedle dee, Slow Down!”

Brain responds, “Ok Garmin, yeah, good idea. Probably should not push this hard since I am running 25 seconds faster than my marathon target pace and that’s not what my plan calls for. Don’t want to get injured and I need to conserve energy for my interval training in a couple of days.”

Garmin, frantically, “Tweedle deedle dee, Slow Down!”

Brain responds, “I know, I know, I tried, it’s not me!”

Heart responds, “I took over there. C’mon Brain. You know you can’t listen to Garmin all the time. All the inflexible rules. It’s like he’s a machine. Dude I got this I am good with this pace.”

Brain, after a brief pause “Ok, well I’m sort of busy here checking systems. Everything seems ok. I guess maybe you’re right, but I’m still concerned about Tuesday’s speed work.”

Garmin, frantically, “Tweedle deedle dee, Slow Down!”

Brain, “Hey, I think hamstring is trying to say something.”

Hamstring, sounding a little confused, “Hey guys, hamstring here. Just wondering what’s going on up there. I thought this was long, easy run day. Did we sign up for a race?”

Heart, “Ha, good one hamstring. No man we’re just getting a little extra work in here at the end of this run. We’ll be done soon and by the way, you look fabulous.”

Garmin, frantically, “Tweedle deedle dee, Slow Down!”

Hamstring, a little more concerned, “Hey I think Garmin has a good point. These hills are pretty tough. I’m not so sure this pace is a good idea. Good way to say hello to Injury and don’t we have speed work in a couple of days?”

Brain, “Yeah, I said the same thing. Have not heard from Injury in a long time and I for one am in no hurry to be sidelined listening to that idiot. I get so frustrated.”

Heart, “Look guys, we feel good and this is the last hill. It’s an easy cruise to the end.”

Hamstring, wincing slightly, “I don’t feel so good.”

Garmin, frantically, “Tweedle deedle dee, Slow Down!”

Quad, “Fellas, I don’t complain much, but what in the world are we doing? Can we not find a flat place and slow down?”

Hamstring, “Yeah Heart, I thought you said the last hill was the last hill, but we definitely just started uphill again. Are you nuts?”

Brain, “That’s it. I am gonna slow us down.”

Heart, “No, wait! We can do this. I promise this really is the last hill and we only have 0.13 miles left in this run and you guys will thank me later.”

Quad, “Wait, I know this street. We finish on an uphill so that was definitely not the last hill.”

Hamstring, “Quad, is right and the next hill is a big one too.”

Brain, “Heart lies all the time. Such a liar. We could at least slow down and take it easier on the last hill.”

Garmin, frantically, “Tweedle deedle dee, Slow Down!”

Heart, “No way! We’ve come this far together, let’s push through to the end! It will be worth it.”

Garmin, “Dun dun dun dun dun, Workout Complete!”

Brain, Hamstring and Quad, “Finally.”

Heart, “YES, baby that rocked!” Singing, “We are the champions again.”

Brain, “I am so gonna kick your ass Tuesday at the track.”